Why I'm here (laerie)

I need a place to vent.

I would say, "that is all," to instill how true those words are, but wouldn't that also go against those words?

I feel like I have exactly 2 people besides D in my life that I could talk to about our lifestyle choices. One of them is also a Dom and it's somewhat difficult to talk to when it comes to sub problems because he just doesn't understand my perspective...and insists on debating nearly every topic I bring up, which I don't have the patience for. The other is one of my oldest friends, but she is so wrapped up in her life I would feel bad imposing my struggles on her. Typical sub...avoiding confrontation at all costs.

So I turn instead, to the empty walls and pages of the internet blog, where (hopefully) no eyes related to me will ever fall. Not to say that the bdsm lifestyle is all I've ever talk about, but it is a huge part of who I am that I don't really get the chance to speak about openly, except to D.

Other than bdsm, I'm interested in creating. I'm a fairly crafty/artistic person. I love cooking and trying new recipes or making something out of nothing. I scour Pinterest for hours on end, looking for awesome one-of-a-kind pieces and saying, "psh...I could make that." And then I do. I love painting, making jewelry, and everything in between. If only I had more time.

I'm highly emotional and most of the time cannot make sense of my emotions. I will more than likely make this a place where I can write about A, my late brother, simply because I need to get it out because I'm afraid I will forget. I said this in my last post (which was about A), but I want to write a novel about his life. It will be freeing for many of the members of my family, give me a hobby for a while, and hopefully inspire people with his story. It won't do him justice, but it will at least serve as a tribute for how much I loved him.

I may also sometimes write about my ridiculous cats. I'm pursuing an M.S. in literacy education, so as I go through the classes, I'm sure I'll have stories. This may also be the place I can write about my dysfunctional family, the woes of my job, and my champagne problems (aka FML). I can be quite funny, and my hyperbolic rants are a good way to clear my head and then later laugh at the ridiculousness.

So, that's me...I can't really think of anything more to write, but I hope that did me justice...