Interesting developments

This past weekend has been fascinating for me. This was the first time that laerie and I traveled to our hometown and saw our families since we truly began striving to make our dynamic as close to 24/7 TPE as we can reasonably get. In other words, it was time to take the training wheels off and see what this baby could do on the open road.

To be honest, I expected some glitches and some long conversations. Well... the long conversations have been there, but the glitches haven't. If anything, she's been pushing me to push her harder, to take more control, but that's beside the point.

I came here to write about two very specific developments that made me smile. Prior to entering this dynamic, laerie could be fairly temperamental - any decision caused her untold anxiety and bouts of moodiness would come and go with little comprehension. Since we've started this journey though, those issues have all but disappeared. I've never seen her so at peace with herself before and it's wonderful.

The first change that I observed was very general. Our first night home, laerie volunteered to stay at my parent's house and take care of some chores that were our joint responsibility so that I could do something that I love and don't often get to do. I was stunned that she was willing to take on my share of the work because she wanted me to have the chance to do what I so badly wanted to do, but never would have asked for. Our second night home was dinner with my family, a sinfully boring bunch to say the least. And for the first time in history, someone who was not a biological member of the family did not grumble or get bored with our company. In fact, she was a perfect angel and went FAR out of her way to not only be of service to me, but my family as well. At every moment of this visit, her behavior has exceeded my expectations and I could not be more pleased with the growth she's demonstrated.

The second change I observed was much more acute. In previous incarnations, laerie was a pro at conflict avoidance. If her order at a restaurant was wrong, she'd simply not eat it rather than complain or order something new... much to my consternation at times. Then tonight rolls around and the two of us are responsible for getting the pizza for a wedding planning discussion with both sets of parents. I wait in the car while uber-helpful laerie hops out to go pick up the food. As she gets back in the car, she opens the box to check it, displaying situational awareness beyond even my own! And of course, the pizza is wrong. I start to get out of the car, expecting that I'll have to go do the dom thing and make them fix it while she stood behind me. However, before I even got my door fully open, she was out of the car and stomping her way back into the restaurant with a look on her face that I'd never seen before. Not only did she end up getting the order corrected, but she ended up getting a free pizza in the process. I could not have been more proud at that moment of the strength she displayed. Apparently when it comes to her own food, she's willing to suffer in silence, but if you fuck up something meant for her man, you better watch the fuck out. The best part of the night though was the blush on her face proving me right as I informed her of my observations.

Though we've only been actively pursuing this dynamic for the last month, it's utterly amazing to see the pieces begin to fall into place and how much she has grown in such a short time. It makes me so happy to see her so comfortable with herself for the first time in the five years I've known her.