Thoughts on Punishment

I originally posted this on Reddit as a response to another dominant struggling with the idea of punishment. I thought it was insightful enough to save, so here it is:

The best answer for me came from CollarMe (of all places, really...). An older Dom in a D/s dynamic that laerie and I admired stated that he didn't do punishment. WHAT? mind blown I scoffed and wondered how on earth that could work. Now, a year later I find myself making the same claim.
Now, here's the standard caveat, this is what works for us. It is very specific to the type of 24/7 lifestyle we're developing. Also, I'm not referring to "funishment" or role play scenes, that's something entirely different. But we tend to play by the rule, "if you want something, ask for it" rather than encouraging deliberate misbehavior.
Now how can I advocate no punishment - two reasons. First, laerie has consensually agreed to live by my rules and expectations 24/7. She wants this dynamic as badly as I do, so why would she spoil it by misbehaving?
Secondly, it is my job to make sure that the rules and expectations I set for her are realistic and reasonable. When we first started out, I tended to be too heavy handed and that made her feel like a failure because we both got so focused on what wasn't being accomplished instead of what was. Now, we celebrate what we achieve and analyze our failures to understand how to avoid them next time. If she doesn't live up to the rules and expectations, then I did not do my job of setting them properly, barring any gross misconduct on her part (which has never happened... yet).
Even if she did deliberately decide to disobey, I wouldn't rely on punishment. Rather, such an act would call for a reevaluation of our entire dynamic. I would sit her down and want to know exactly why she chose to act that way, what caused it and so on. Though she might tell you that having to endure that would be punishment in its own right.