Leaving on a jet plane

This is the furthest D and I will ever be from each other. I'm traveling to the west coast tonight to visit my best friend and maid of honor in our wedding. D is worried sick about me of course. Not because he doesn't think I'm capable of surviving on my own without him (although sometimes I wonder that myself...) but because if something were to happen or I get anxious or scared, he will be unable to save me. He does not like him or I to be put in situations where he is not in control because it's too unpredictable. He knows that I'll be safe if he's driving me somewhere, but putting my life in someone else's hands (the pilot in this case) just doesn't sit well with him. The fears are irrational, but admirable. He loves me too much.

His anxiety isn't too far fetched though. I am utterly terrified of flying (I haven't been on a plane since I was 6) and he knows that I'm going to be scared, especially if we hit turbulence, and I won't have him there to keep me calm and grounded (figuratively grounded, obviously).

By now people should know that I am a high strung person (I'm bringing a ton on Xanax with me on this trip). I get anxious and have panic attacks over the most inconsequential things. Trying to catch a connecting flight with only 30 minutes to spare will be tight, especially because I have no fucking idea what to do in an airport. I will be channelling my inner D the entire way though, trying to keep calm and be strong for him so he doesn't have to worry more. I am a strong, confident woman! Navigating an airport shouldn't be too hard, right?

Anyway, I'm only gonna be gone like 3 days. Still, D and I are very connected. We even miss each other when I go to work for 5 hours. Co-dependent much? Well I guess this lifestyle kind of perpetuates that...

I am sad he's not coming with me, but my girl and I will be doing weddingy things that a.) D does not want to do and b.) that D probably is not allowed to know about (dress and such). My one regret is that we will not be able to join the mile high club. But we can always save that for our honeymoon ;)